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MotorWeek Retro Marathon | Seasons 11-13 (1991-1994)

Leaked | Tonale

Looking cheap and extremely outdated like any modern Alfa Romeo, but some will love it. But if they could make people pay money for a Fiat Multipla, then selling this with an AR badge shouldn't be a problem. Too bad the spirit of Alfa Romeo is long dead, but hey as long as people settle with less... why even try to go for more?

Way to go design team, congrats for making a Toyota? Toyota said 30-or-so years ago in a campaign "Nichts ist Unmöglich" Nothing is impossible. Alfa designers proved this exactly. 
Again. Managed to "underperform" something that was almost "underperformable" design-wise and still being considered by a vast majority appealing. It's a shame because they seem to make good cars lately. Nothing bellissima, but it is okay. Some 30 years ago, Now also goes. If you can afford a serious coachbuilder..  
Again it is a shame because it is Italian. And they say Italian design should really be inspiring. (Without a help of a coachbuilder.) They should have flair, soul, something out of this world. 

Yet they have the most lackluster exterior designs lately. Fiat is almost inexistent, Maserati on the path of slaughterhouse (high hopes for the Alfieri - hopefully not too late too little), Ferrari... well at least they are trying to regularly refresh with updated designs, Lamborghini is doing awesome stuff (but wait a sec - the guys from Sant' Agata are not part of the FIAT portfolio), Lancia however is dead (with the help of Mr Marchionne they murdered/managed to butcher one of the most prestigious piece of the automotive history ever!) and Alfa...hm well just look at them. (After a glorious reboot with the Brera and 8C they spit and then stand under - with a MiTo and all those...Giulia and forgettable - below average at best - designs. Even the word design is seriously questionable in the case of AR. - looking like everything they do was done by a committee)
All in all the FIAT Group needs some creative designers badly. Not badly. 
Desperately.       

Only one thing is missing from the looks of Alfa Romeos of today - soul. Only one thing for sure. But flair or design is also non existent in the vocabulary of the stylists (?). Which brings us to the unavoidable question. Will Alfa manage to finally create something that - at least remotely - looks matching the right decade for once? Or they took lessons from Maserati, Lancia, Marchionne and Ramaciotti? - Doing the impossible job. How to fully disgrace a stylish exciting brand? How to exterminate, how to butcher the best sounding names in an automotive group's portfolio? How to entirely disintegrate an ultimate premium brand like Maserati and pushing into dirt its valued historic nameplates while orchestrating the humiliation of Lancia before being shot dead. This was a crime. How many bloody sacrifices are still needed until they put the right people in the right places? Cars this ugly boring should be banned to prevent causing fatigue on the roads of unsuspecting participants or random bystanders in the traffic.   

Since a new decade is coming up starting from next year, this gives some real hope to the designers. 2000 was almost 20 years ago. Alfa Romeo, does this ring any bells? 


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